Hi my Beautiful People,
It’s 2022, and for me the New Year always offers a fresh start and a new perspective. Last year was a big year for me, I turned 30, took on a full time job, lost my Grandfather, got Covid, and so many other big life changing things. After such a shift personally, I feel it is also time to make big changes professionally.
For those closest to me, you know the reality of running Tesoro last year. Sales were down over 40%, I was unable to pay myself for the second year in a row, and after over 6 years of back breaking and painstaking work, I was burnt out in every way. So, logically, I got a full time job. lololol. It wasn’t my best call, but it did allow me to start paying off debt, paying my rent, and it also allowed me to keep working with my dear employee Alexis. But I am sure you can guess what happens after a burnt out person starts a high stress full time job, a full and total breakdown.
It happened in my boyfriends car, on the way home for Thanksgiving, with my boyfriend, one of my best friends and our two dogs in the car with us. Sabina asked me about work, and I fell apart. I cried uncontrollably for a bit, and then told them how much I had been struggling. Most days from August to December, I worked from 9AM-8PM, cooked dinner, and then started work for Tesoro. After months of this, my body shut down, and I realized it was time for me to prioritize my mental health before things got worse. So, last week, I gave my two weeks at this full time job.
Although this was a big step in the right direction, after months of consideration, I have also decided that I will be closing Tesoro. After 7 years, it is time for me to move on. I know this will come as a shock to many, so I want to talk a bit about my decision to move on.
I started Tesoro when I was 23 years old. I was just out of college, working retail jobs, and interning for a leather working company in Lancaster PA when I fell in love with leather work. I felt so sure that this was my life long passion. I found a sewing machine I could afford on Craigslist, drove the 4 hours to purchase it, and set up shop in my parents basement. A year later I had a business partner and an investor. It was a dream come true.
Through the years, my partner and investors went their own ways, and I took on Tesoro as my own. It became in many ways my most intimate relationship. It was like having a child. I cared about Tesoro success more than my health, more than my time, and more than my own. In many ways, it become my identity. This is a truth that I don’t say with pride. Because of this deep connection, I was unable to know myself for a long time. It wasn’t until Covid hit, and I was forced to take a step back, that I realized how unhealthy this relationship was.
If I am really honest with myself, I have been burnt out since May of 2020, but I pushed through, because I was determined not to let Covid take away everything I worked for. After two years, it is time I face the truth. I am still burnt out, and I am still struggling. Tesoro never became financially stable. Although I was always able to pay my bills, I rarely paid myself, and I become financially dependent on my boyfriend Mike. I find myself craving stability, travel, and paying for the things I need without anxiety about where the money will come from.
I will be doing an instagram live tonight at 7PM, to talk more about my decision to close, and to answer any questions you might have, so please head over there and say hello if you can. I will have information about how the next month or so will look for you tomorrow, and it will be posted to Instagram, the website, and sent out in an email, so please keep your eye out for that.
I really cannot put into words what this business, and your support has meant to me over the past almost 7 years. You have allowed me to live my dream, and that is the most incredible gift to be given. Thank you’s will come later, but for now I hope to see you tonight.